I had always wanted a son first. A big brother to protect, oversee, and look after his siblings. And then we found out we were having you. What’s ironic about all of this is that we were first told you were a boy. You had your foot at the right place at the wrong time and sure enough they mistook it for something else 😉 … four weeks later we found out you were a girl. You were the easiest baby and then you turned one. Your fits were something I can’t even put into words. Your strong will, resilience, and perseverance to drive us crazy worked! There were many times your dad and I questioned our parenting skills because we just couldn’t seem to find a disciplining practice that would work on you. There were many nights I cried asking the Lord to help me see the areas I needed to change or improve on, hoping it would help change your attitude. I have never stopped asking for his guidance, but this was more of a cry for help.
Like I said… strong willed to a T. But guess what- the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The minute I saw your personality starting to bloom, I saw SO much of me in you. It’s actually scary how much. Scary because I knew of the strength that lied within you, yet hopeful because I knew that strength could and would be used for good. I know it because I’ve seen it happen in me. I’m still learning, but I can tell you that your mommy has grown in so many ways because I have trusted God with these strengths and have asked Him to use me in ways I was fearful of for so long.
Now that you are seven, I can look back and say that God knew exactly what he was doing all along. He knew I needed you. He knew I needed a little me to rely on His guidance and His strength in parenting. He knew I needed you because you have probably taught me more about myself than anyone else. He knew I needed you because you have showed me what it’s like to back down when I didn’t know I had it within me #hellotypeApersonality. He knew I needed you because you have showed me that you can be strong willed AND passionate AND giving AND thrive in life. He knew I needed you first because you are THE BEST big sister to your brothers. He knew I needed you because you are mommy’s little helper around the house.
I am SO proud of you and am so thankful God gave me you first. Now I can’t see life any other way. If there is one piece of advice I would give you it’s this… always trust God along your journey. Even when you’re fearful or unsure, you will look back someday and understand why it happened. Life will be bumpy, there will be lots of ups and downs and even zig zags along the way, but in those moments remember to trust that God has a plan for your life. He made you JUST the way you are for a reason.
Thank you Jesus for my baby girl!