Good morning friends!
A large number of you have reached out to me asking about Jude’s schedule and what home life (typically) looks like for us. I talked about it briefly on Snapchat (I’m mamamelly5 over there- and if you don’t have one- GET ONE!- it’s where all the cool kids are at) but thought I’d elaborate on here since I can talk/type the day away without getting cut off every 4 seconds!
Before you read on, I just want to start out by saying that what has worked for me might or might not work for you. I truly don’t believe there is one way to parenting. We will all parent slightly different based on a number of variables: personalities, our kids demeanor, our view on parenting styles, the list goes on. So as much as I want to say THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU, it may not, and that’s okay. But for those of you who are wanting to try something new or are desperate to get some sleep (you and baby 🙂 )- this might be for you!
One of my best friends had her first baby about a year before me and she just seemed to have the whole parenting thing down. I mean, no matter what- every first baby will throw you for a loop since you really don’t have any idea what kind of life change you’re in for, but I remember watching her and being so impressed with his demeanor, her energy ;), and her outlook on it all. What new mama is energized and thriving with their 4 month old?! All I knew was whatever she was doing, I was all about it and was going to follow her lead with my baby(s). Her little guy, Brayden, was sleeping “through the night” (9 hours) by 9 weeks old! And by the time he was 4 months old, he was up to 12! I remember thinking, this is not normal, right?! She told me about the book Baby Wise and I’ve never looked back 🙂 …Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic there, but it has definitely been my guideline for all three of my babies schedules.
With my first, Ella, I treated it like my bible. I mean, if it wasn’t in the book, I wasn’t doing it. And if she was off, I was like a freak on the edge of a mental breakdown. You know how it is with your first- it seems like every little thing bothers you. But- she was sleeping 9 hours by 10 weeks and 12 hours by 3 months old! I will say this, I was at home a lot… like a lot, a lot. Because I was so strict about her being on her schedule, I made sure that my life revolved around her. Looking back, I didn’t have to be so strict. I didn’t need to change my life so drastically to help hers. I’ve been so much more lenient with Jude (as I have to be with having three kids and constantly on the go), and although he’s a little bit behind her time wise, he is now sleeping 9-11 hours a night at 4 months old and I have been SO much more lenient with his schedule. So if you decide to give baby wise a shot, don’t beat yourself up for not sticking to it every single day. You do have to make some sacrifices, yes, but let it work into your life, too.
Now having walked through the schedule/book with all three kids, if there is anything I could go back and change, I wouldn’t be so strict with the “cry it out” method. Again, moms, please don’t comment on here and leave your opinion as to why it’s horrible for babies or the best option for them. We are all going to have a different opinion and I don’t want this to be the place for debate. I’m all about encouragement, love, and celebrating our differences within motherhood! I just know for me, looking back, as much as I thought it was okay (and actually GOOD) to let my daughter cry it out for (sometimes) up to an hour, I wouldn’t do it again. I personally don’t think it’s healthy to let your 1 month old cry themselves to sleep time and time again. To this day she is our best sleeper and I know that it’s probably connected to her ability to self soothe at such a young age. But I’ve recently been connected to a sleep coach, Lauren, from Sleep and the City (if you’re in dyer need, I loved our experience and highly recommend her!), and over the course of talking through things with her, I’ve learned that most babies don’t/can’t learn how to self sooth until about 4-5 months. So don’t be so hard on yourself when you’re wondering why on earth your baby won’t fall asleep on their own. Some babies are very well natured and are natural sleepers from the get go. But for the most part, the average baby is going to take some time to get the whole falling-asleep-on-your-own thing down. Don’t sweat it (easier said then done, I know!).
For me, my biggest goal was getting my babies to sleep through the night as fast as possible. I can deal with cat naps through out the day, but if they’re cat napping at night- heeeeck no! I was/am not a pleasant person when I don’t get sleep at night so this was/is my main priority.
Three kids later and I’m not even close to being an expert in parenting. In fact I was just thinking to myself the other night that I need to start reading some parenting books (in all my spare time…) to gain some wisdom and insight from an outside perspective. I think we always have something to learn and work on as moms, and because it’s the most important thing in the world to me, I need to make it a priority. Nothing matters more to me than being a good mama- I get choked up just talking about it. Here are a few good books I’ve heard are good (haven’t read them all) in case you’re on the hunt, too…
Anything by James Dobson- (kind of old school but) My in laws read & implemented a lot of his teachings and they are some of the most amazing parents I know. They raised their kids (my husband included) with so much grace and love.
Thought I’d end with a few recent pictures of Jude. He turned 4 months on July 21… Life just keeps getting better with him and that’s the truth! Love him SO much!
Use code “heyjude” for 20% off your bath (like Jude’s above) from www.bloomingbath.com thru 8/31/16
If I’m not playing with him, Sissy is. She adores him! (as seen above 🙂 )