Jude’s schedule + Life at home

Good morning friends!

A large number of you have reached out to me asking about Jude’s schedule and what home life (typically) looks like for us. I talked about it briefly on Snapchat (I’m mamamelly5 over there- and if you don’t have one- GET ONE!- it’s where all the cool kids are at) but thought I’d elaborate on here since I can talk/type the day away without getting cut off every 4 seconds!

Before you read on, I just want to start out by saying that what has worked for me might or might not work for you. I truly don’t believe there is one way to parenting. We will all parent slightly different based on a number of variables: personalities, our kids demeanor, our view on parenting styles, the list goes on. So as much as I want to say THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU, it may not, and that’s okay. But for those of you who are wanting to try something new or are desperate to get some sleep (you and baby 🙂 )- this might be for you!

One of my best friends had her first baby about a year before me and she just seemed to have the whole parenting thing down. I mean, no matter what- every first baby will throw you for a loop since you really don’t have any idea what kind of life change you’re in for, but I remember watching her and being so impressed with his demeanor, her energy ;), and her outlook on it all. What new mama is energized and thriving with their 4 month old?! All I knew was whatever she was doing, I was all about it and was going to follow her lead with my baby(s). Her little guy, Brayden, was sleeping “through the night” (9 hours) by 9 weeks old! And by the time he was 4 months old, he was up to 12! I remember thinking, this is not normal, right?! She told me about the book Baby Wise and I’ve never looked back 🙂 …Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic there, but it has definitely been my guideline for all three of my babies schedules.

With my first, Ella, I treated it like my bible. I mean, if it wasn’t in the book, I wasn’t doing it. And if she was off, I was like a freak on the edge of a mental breakdown. You know how it is with your first- it seems like every little thing bothers you. But- she was sleeping 9 hours by 10 weeks and 12 hours by 3 months old! I will say this, I was at home a lot… like a lot, a lot. Because I was so strict about her being on her schedule, I made sure that my life revolved around her. Looking back, I didn’t have to be so strict. I didn’t need to change my life so drastically to help hers. I’ve been so much more lenient with Jude (as I have to be with having three kids and constantly on the go), and although he’s a little bit behind her time wise, he is now sleeping 9-11 hours a night at 4 months old and I have been SO much more lenient with his schedule. So if you decide to give baby wise a shot, don’t beat yourself up for not sticking to it every single day. You do have to make some sacrifices, yes, but let it work into your life, too.

Now having walked through the schedule/book with all three kids, if there is anything I could go back and change, I wouldn’t be so strict with the “cry it out” method. Again, moms, please don’t comment on here and leave your opinion as to why it’s horrible for babies or the best option for them. We are all going to have a different opinion and I don’t want this to be the place for debate. I’m all about encouragement, love, and celebrating our differences within motherhood! I just know for me, looking back, as much as I thought it was okay (and actually GOOD) to let my daughter cry it out for (sometimes) up to an hour, I wouldn’t do it again. I personally don’t think it’s healthy to let your 1 month old cry themselves to sleep time and time again. To this day she is our best sleeper and I know that it’s probably connected to her ability to self soothe at such a young age. But I’ve recently been connected to a sleep coach, Lauren, from Sleep and the City (if you’re in dyer need, I loved our experience and highly recommend her!), and over the course of talking through things with her, I’ve learned that most babies don’t/can’t learn how to self sooth until about 4-5 months. So don’t be so hard on yourself when you’re wondering why on earth your baby won’t fall asleep on their own. Some babies are very well natured and are natural sleepers from the get go. But for the most part, the average baby is going to take some time to get the whole falling-asleep-on-your-own thing down. Don’t sweat it (easier said then done, I know!).

For me, my biggest goal was getting my babies to sleep through the night as fast as possible. I can deal with cat naps through out the day, but if they’re cat napping at night- heeeeck no! I was/am not a pleasant person when I don’t get sleep at night so this was/is my main priority.

Three kids later and I’m not even close to being an expert in parenting. In fact I was just thinking to myself the other night that I need to start reading some parenting books (in all my spare time…) to gain some wisdom and insight from an outside perspective. I think we always have something to learn and work on as moms, and because it’s the most important thing in the world to me, I need to make it a priority. Nothing matters more to me than being a good mama- I get choked up just talking about it. Here are a few good books I’ve heard are good (haven’t read them all) in case you’re on the hunt, too…

The Whole Brain Child

Desperate

Babyproofing your marriage

Anything by James Dobson- (kind of old school but) My in laws read & implemented a lot of his teachings and they are some of the most amazing parents I know. They raised their kids (my husband included) with so much grace and love.

Thought I’d end with a few recent pictures of Jude. He turned 4 months on July 21… Life just keeps getting better with him and that’s the truth! Love him SO much!

 

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Use code “heyjude” for 20% off your bath (like Jude’s above) from www.bloomingbath.com thru 8/31/16

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If I’m not playing with him, Sissy is. She adores him! (as seen above 🙂 )

 

Jude

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18 Comments

  1. August 2, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    Girl, I just appreciate your honesty and how unapologetically you set boundaries. Specifically how you set boundaries on people sharing opinions and such that could shame people or bring negativity into what’s supposed to be an encouraging and uplifting moment. Love all that you do! xo

    • Danielle
      August 2, 2016 / 4:32 pm

      Completely agree with Emily! I just appreciate you. Love reading all your posts and this one definitely helps me because I am having some major issues with my 8 month old not sleeping through the night and not being on a regular schedule. I need to read some of your books.

      • ellabrooksblog
        August 3, 2016 / 12:03 pm

        Thank you so much, girl! I know- the whole not sleeping through the night thing is definitely challenging! The biggest thing I can encourage you to do is to try and get her onto a normal routine- easier said than done but it helped my babies a lot! Good luck!

    • Danielle
      August 2, 2016 / 4:34 pm

      Quick question my daughter seems to be waking up 2-3 times a night sometimes and will only stop when I put her on the bed with us. :-/ Not sure how to make this stop other than having her cry it out but then I feel bad that she will hurt her throat or make her head hurt from all that crying. any suggestions? She is 8 months old.

      • ellabrooksblog
        August 3, 2016 / 12:02 pm

        Hi girl! Sorry, I’m definitely not a sleep trainer so I don’t know how to help you there :/ the only thing that I can recommend is baby wise and how it’s worked for my kids in helping them sleep through the night at a young age.

        • Danielle
          August 3, 2016 / 3:27 pm

          Thank you so much ! 🙂

  2. Bree Sundbaum
    August 2, 2016 / 2:02 pm

    Love this! Were you strict with Jude on cry it out then or did you do it differently? My little guy is 3 months and we’ve been doing that for the last 2 weeks but in intervals and he’s still waking up at 11, 2, and 4. The first night we started this, he was out from 730pm-430am but hasn’t done it since! I’m with you though, sleep is a priority in my house and he’s our first so trying to figure this all out. Thanks for sharing!!!

    • ellabrooksblog
      August 2, 2016 / 2:14 pm

      Hi Bree! I’m gonna be honest- we haven’t let him cry it out yet 🙂 I actually thought this would hinder him in being able to sleep through the night (because they wake up and have to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep), but it hasn’t. Something about the magic of baby wise- it just makes them sleep longer and longer each night until they’re sleeping through the night. During the day he is either sleeping in his swing or stays asleep in his carseat from being in the car. With my current life scenario, it’s so hard to keep things strict and ritual during the day as we always have so much going on. If it was my first (like you)- I would be way more inclined to sleep train during the day. For me, the only advice I would say is, whatever you decide to do- stick with it. When we did CIO with my daughter, it was all or nothing. If we went in to “save” her, she’d catch on and cry longer the next time. For me it all depends on how long they cry for. Again, this is ALL my opinion so another mom may completely disagree, but I personally don’t see a problem with letting your three month old cry longer than 15-20 minutes. Any longer and I might shy away from it until he’s a bit older. The older they get, the easier it will be for him to catch onto self soothing. Do what works for you & stick with it! Good luck girl!

      • Bree Sundbaum
        August 2, 2016 / 2:56 pm

        I sooooo appreciate this… all such good info! I read somewhere not to sleep train during the day, if you’re sleep training at night so glad you mentioned start sleep training during the day first. My issue is consistency so know I need to stick with it. Ordering baby wise now! Thanks lady!

  3. Natalie
    August 2, 2016 / 2:14 pm

    How do you do it with breastfeeding? Do you not get up engorged? I cannot go longer than 6 hours 😁

    • ellabrooksblog
      August 2, 2016 / 3:29 pm

      Hi Natalie!

      I’m not breastfeeding anymore, otherwise, yes I’d be right there with ya!

  4. Taylor
    August 2, 2016 / 4:47 pm

    Have you experienced the 4 month sleep regression using the baby wise program? How did you survive it?!

    • ellabrooksblog
      August 3, 2016 / 12:00 pm

      Hi Taylor! He just turned 4 months about a week ago and I have yet to see any sleep regression. It’s funny because I didn’t experience it with my other two and the sleep coach I’ve been working with mentioned something about it to me and I had never even heard of it! So we haven’t tackled that one yet (and hoping we don’t!) 🙂 Good luck!

  5. Sonja
    August 3, 2016 / 6:10 am

    I just found your blog a few weeks ago and I love it! I’m a young mama of three (4, 2, and 8 months) from Canada 🙂 I appreciate your honesty, encouragement, and genuiness! Christ, family, and coffee :):)
    (I also did BabyWise. was super strict with my first and then toned it down with the other two! also love your top in this pic of you and sweet Jude!)
    God bless!
    Sonya

    • ellabrooksblog
      August 3, 2016 / 11:55 am

      Hi Sonya! So much in common- love it!!! Thanks girl- I so appreciate your encouraging words!!

  6. Brittney
    August 4, 2016 / 3:10 pm

    Hi Melissa,
    Your’e my favorite mommy blogger;) Been following you for awhile now on IG and Snap. I have a almost 4 month old myself, so I enjoy your posts with Jude and the two others. The sleep thing is hard! I just got done rocking my little one to sleep. She hates naps! But mama needs them! I have been reading Baby Wise myself.. works at times for me, but my LO is still fighting the naps during the day. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night, so I should not complain! Anyway, just wanted to reach out ! Love your style!

    Brittney

    • ellabrooksblog
      August 10, 2016 / 9:14 pm

      Hi Brittney!
      Thanks so much! Totally get it- the napping during the day is a tough one unless they’re natural good sleepers or you do CIO which can be tough on baby (and mama!)

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