Present Over Perfect

My not so perfect picture but present picture 😉 – Me laying out last week in Maui (Apparently I need to shave my left leg…) – Shop the bikini right here.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I’ve been reading a book called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequiest for quite some time. Like, too long. (One of my New Years resolutions was to read 1 book per month {or maybe it was one every other month}… either way I’m failing- New Years resolutions at it’s finest!)

It’s one of those books that every page I read I’m nodding my head or mentally relating & agreeing with her. Like so.spot.on! I won’t recap the book for you as I think you all need to read it 😉 But I will give you my personal thoughts after reading and digesting the meat of it.

As mother’s, naturally we carry heavier loads and longer to-do lists than the average person. To add to that, a lot of us manage side businesses, full-time jobs, or other responsibilities that we are tackling head on parallel to the daily motherhood duties. And if you tend to be like me… you never stop & you tend to be a perfectionist at everything you put your hand to (If not- rock on sister!- share your secret with me…). Shauna says it best when she breaks it down to ultimately being an insecurity or a desire to be enough, to be capable, and to be able to do it all. We have this inner need that wants to prove to others we can do it all. Because we should be able to do it all, right? And people will think we are cooler if we do it all, right? Wrong. In fact, I think what’s happening here (pointing the finger at myself people), is the more we take on, the more we accomplish, the more we do do do, go go go, the more we’re creating a new ‘normal’ of what motherhood should look like, for us and for those around us. I mean, if she’s not raising her kids perfectly while running her business perfectly while managing her friendships perfectly while being the perfect wife, (gasp) – she’s not a good mom. We are bound to fail. Everyone is going to fail in one or more area(s) of their lives. But where?! Where is most of your time and energy going?! Are you going to bed at night wishing you had done things differently? I’m talking night after night. We all have our days no doubt. But that constant tug in your heart that’s telling you you need to change things means you need to change things. Slow down, reevaluate, sit on the floor with your kids, put the laundry aside, cancel your night out with friends. Yes- cancel your plans with your friends. That’s actually something I’ve personally had to give up (or I should say lessen) the past year or so as my work load has picked up. I’ve realized I just can’t do it all and something has had to give. I want to be more present with my kids and not perfect in life. If I’m constantly trying to perfect every area of my life, the present just won’t happen.

And another crazy thought- have you ever truly believed that you are enough just as you? JUST as you are. The stripped down, not so busy, ‘perfected’ version. I think we can easily attribute our worthiness in life to all that we’re doing & all that we’re accomplishing when God created us worthy just as we are. Our need to please and prove to others that we are enough will never satisfy that inner need. Believing we are enough, will.

Just a little food for thought on this morning.

We can never be perfect, but we can be present.

What areas of your life do you need to slow down, stop perfecting, and be more present in??

 

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4 Comments

  1. March 31, 2017 / 6:12 pm

    This sounds like a really good read Melissa! I can honestly say I have been struggling in this area. I constantly have to reevaluate things especially when it comes to blogging and social media. The comparison game is fierce when it comes to all this. The truth is that no one is perfect and we all struggle! Thank you for some good reminders!
    xo, Nicole

  2. Tomassina B
    April 2, 2017 / 7:20 am

    I think everyone needs that reminder. And the” tugging on my heart” that part hit me in the gut because I know exactly what I need to change. Thank you.
    Have you ever read “Nothing to Prove ” by Jenny Allen. You should add it to your book list

  3. Toheba
    April 2, 2017 / 7:21 am

    I think everyone needs that reminder. And the” tugging on my heart” that part hit me in the gut because I know exactly what I need to change. Thank you.
    Have you ever read “Nothing to Prove ” by Jenny Allen. You should add it to your book list

  4. April 6, 2017 / 9:29 am

    Thank you so much for sharing. This comes at a perfect time for me and definitely sounds like something I would love to read. Being a mother, wife, working full-time and going to school is exhausting and I can definitely relate to the feeling of wanting to be the perfect mom who can do everything perfectly.

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