By Life as we know it… it’s simple, easy, goes as planned, right?! All of my life I believe I’ve been perceived as someone who may appear to “have it all together”. But I can assure you, behind every “perfect” smile there is an unheard story; an insecurity, a hurting heart, a difficult situation, a longing or yearning for something more. There have been a few times in my life where I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, I couldn’t go any further. Life as I know it changed drastically when my second child, my sweet baby boy, entered this world.
(Sorry- did I start out too heavy? Come off a little too strong? Maybe, but as I’m writing this I’m realizing that it’s me being honest and real, and that’s exactly how I want this blog to be… the real me.)
He was all 8 lb’4 oz. of pure sweetness. My husband and I couldn’t have been more thrilled to add a BOY to our family, Brooklyn Jay. Let’s be real, this meant sports was in our future. And if you know my husband at all, he is a diehard sports fanatic- football being the fav! With our first being a girl, I remember often wondering if it would feel strange having a boy. Not in a bad way, but in a “how will I change him?” or “How will I raise him?” sort of way. Boys & girls are so different, I wasn’t sure how my role as “mom” would change in raising a son.
We took him home and instantly fell in love. So did big sister. Ella was smitten & has been in love with Brooks from day 1.
Being that he was baby #2, I remember noticing his fussiness being a little more extreme from the get go. Those first few days of life can be rough on every newborn as their taking in the big world around them and their little tummies are getting adjusted to mommies milk. Three weeks into his little life, I remember leaning over to Trav and telling him something isn’t right. You know that mommy intuition? Yeah, that one… that gut was telling me to take him in to be seen. Long story short, they diagnosed him with Reflux. There are different severities to reflux and unfortunately our little guy had it pretty tough, all the way up until 8 months old.
At month three, we took him in to be seen for a routine check up where his doctor mentioned some concerns he was seeing. The “mommy” came out in me and I asked him just about every question imaginable trying to rack his brain as to what exactly he was trying to say. Again, long story short, he mentioned there was a good chance Brooklyn had cerebral palsy. My heart sunk. I was in shock. My baby??! No way. It was a l-o-o-o-n-g few weeks until that diagnosis was cleared by another doctor. Sure enough, Brooklyn is totally fine & is actually ahead of the game (Let me brag a little… 🙂 as he started to walk a few weeks back at 10 months old.
All this to say, life as we know it doesn’t always turn out the way we intend it to, does it? Ultimately we do not have control over what our future holds. I remember one morning in the midst of receiving the news about CP, I found myself crying… crying to the point where I was down on my hands and knees. Although it may sound strange, I wasn’t crying out of despair or sadness, but rather out of complete JOY and gratitude I was feeling overwhelmed with. It’s in those moments of darkness that often times you see the light shine brightest. The Lord was reminding me of truly how blessed I was and how much I had to be thankful for despite my current situation. It’s all in perspective (<—— I love that line!). I remember that morning giving it all to the Lord and laying it at his feet. It was the next day we would receive the news that Brooks did not have CP. The Lord works in mysterious ways I tell you!
Oddly enough, I don’t intend to share such deep insight from my life in my future posts (LOL).
However, I felt led to share this snippet of my life to show that I am human just like you, and we all face challenges whether we decide to show it or not. Being vulnerable is beautiful, and it’s something I’m slowly learning day by day.
Let’s be eachother’s cheerleaders! One of my dearest friends on the planet, Caitlin Zick, has a strong passion and desire to see unity amongst women flourish. Never have I felt so encouraged as by what I’ve watched her live out in striving to make this happen. Women can be evil (let’s be real)… we all fall into the trap of comparison, judgement, etc (guilty!)… I am challenged to stop this trend and to cheer you on in life! I encourage you to do the same and I promise you will start to see positive changes happening in your world.
Thank you for caring enough to read a little bit about what’s been happening in my realm of life this past year… & if you don’t know me, let me introduce you to my little (& wonderful might I add) family… Travis (my husband), Ella (3), Brooks (1, next month)… We aren’t perfect, but I sure do love them so SO much! We had the privilege of taking maternity pictures (preggo with Brooks) with another dear friend of mine, Ashley Maxwell. You will see a few of my favs below…
To view the full post- head on over to her blog (link below) and while you’re at it, browse through her site- she is unbelievably talented!
http://ashleymaxwellphoto.com/blog/the-cole-family-and-then-there-was-four/
And for more recent pics, follow me on Instagram (mamamelly5). Although I will warn you… I could be categorized as “picture happy” 🙂
Until next time,
XOXO
Mel
